🦋 Ask any woman what kind of parent she wants to be, and she will most likely say– a happy one. She wants to be a present, valid, loving mother and a cheerful wife giving her best. But let's face it: not every baby mama can feel this– day after day or even most days.
🦋 Because not all of us have the luxury to feel rested, let alone be inspired. Not all of us are domestic goddesses dreaming what kind of sophisticated dish we'll throw on a table at night.
🦋 If you ever spent your whole day in a dirty bathrobe, unbrushed hair put up in a bun, and all you have managed to have in a day was a burned toast, you know what I am talking about.
You're now doing it all type of woman. A wonder woman. You're being watched, judged, and often reminded that you're no longer the woman you used to be. Out of a sense of duty and love, you placed your jewels aside and became what the world told you to be– nurturing and patient—swirling things at home and beyond. You kept everyone happy, apart from yourself.
There's pressure to be and perform at all times. Expectations of what a perfect woman and her household are like. Above all, because becoming a mother equals becoming a giver, no longer taker.
And you better do it looking happy. Because the other baby mamas keep it together, so must you.
But this isn't called living, my dear baby mama.
I know this dearly because I remind myself of this daily.
We can't be our best or give our best when we run on empty. We can't show up happy when we are mentally and physically tired to keep up with the standard set up by no one but other women.
We have to stop trying to be so flawless, showing others how easy we do it and how good we look while doing it. We have got to stop pretending we manage it all.
And here's the thing: the more we dissolve our essence in taking care of everyone's needs apart ours, the less we'll give to ourselves. And by doing so, slowly but steadily, we lose our divine, feminine power.
But maybe this isn't a matter of losing one's power; perhaps it's a matter of regaining one's strength.
❤️ Because if you're here to give to others, you're here to give to yourself first. You're here to do whatever it takes to nourish yourself. You're here to provide for your starving self. Better yet, to rise the above, even if you can't rise above anything just yet. Because the longer you resist giving yourself what you crave, the harder it will get.
This does not make you selfish. It then makes you a responsible human able to give out more as a result: more energy, more joy, more self to the family.
❤️ It begins with a grander vision for yourself. It starts with filtering out the noise, social and cultural expectations. It commences with turning the volume on what matters– the tiny dreamy voice inside us. The voice that whispers you've only scratched a surface of what purposeful life is all about.
Because it's okay to have dreams beyond your own home and family, but what's not okay is to lose yourself in the mists of taking care of everyone's needs but yours at the expense of your well-being, mental health, and happiness.
Maybe where you are is where you have to be. Perhaps you were made to bury your dreams for a while, or perhaps you didn't know what they were. But you always had that little voice whispering how you have so much more to offer to the world. Maybe you're on to something bigger, even if it's hard to see just yet. Possibly you weren't born to be the queen of everyone's hearts. More likely, a queen of your own life.
👑 And yes, I am here to say it out loud – within every woman, regardless of where she comes from, there is a queen or a goddess inside. And she isn't domestic. Maybe she's more like Joan of Arc or Lara Croft goddess, or perhaps she isn't. But only from that higher self standpoint can you discover who you are. Only from there, you'll find stubbornness, willpower to find the answers, to knock down the standard that tells you who you should be. Only then you'll find the strength to do what needs to be done to fill your cup of happiness.
Mind you; you're not required to save the world; you are invited to save yourself. Even if you no longer know who you are or you never did. Even if all you've done was to help others to make dreams happen, or maybe you never had a job because you couldn't find that one thing that fulfills you?
It does not matter at all. What matters is what you do from now on onward. What vision are you going to have for yourself and your family at large?
What are you going to do to bring more joy into your life?
Above all, you don't need anyone's permission to be happy. You have to allow yourself to receive joy and light. You have to begin anywhere– ideally today to take a step closer to your ideal self - to the woman that says yes to herself today, tomorrow, and for as long as she lives.
Lastly, when we permit ourselves to rise as women, we instantly become better, healthier, loving mothers and wives that our loved ones will be life-long fans of. We also teach them to, no matter what, never give up on ourselves, our dreams, passions, and contributions to the world.