5 Things I Would Have Never Learned Had I Never Became A Parent
Hello there, I became a mom!
My precious little angel named Sofia was born on January 19, 2019, and since that day at 4:30 am to be exact, my life changed to the extent I haven't been imagining.
I went into the motherhood blindly without any expectations and purposely closed my eyes and ears on stories that I heard from fellow mamas. Because lesson number one: stop forcing your reality on others. Every experience we have is so unique that it's impossible to predict what your baby is going to behave like, what you will be feeling and how well you will be adjusting to a life-altering role as a mother.
Universally though, the life, as you knew it, gets paused and very possibly transformed because in an instant it's no longer about you anymore. Your needs, wants and dreams have to be put on hold (for a few months at least) until you figure out when in the day there's time to squeeze in "me time."
From what I know, women are great at multitasking, but mothers take it to the whole other level.
I've mastered to have breakfast at the same time my baby does. I get to eat a bowl of porridge every morning ( tale says it increases your milk supply) while breastfeeding my little bundle. Lunches are harder because it's way harder to hold a fork rather than a spoon trying to twirl spaghetti or scoop up a lettuce leaf. (The life of a mother is endlessly glamorous.)
My new reality gets messy but is the most beautiful reality I've ever known. Because it showed me things I would have never learned had I never became a parent.
1. Time is one of the most valuable currencies there is because every moment we have is non-returnable.
Seeing how quickly Sofia grows made me realize nothing stays still. We should hold on to our moments for a little longer because they too will pass. Time has a tendency to fade away even the most vivid memories we live because it knows no difference between good or bad. Everything we see, feel or hear goes away and just like that we wake up 10 years older but not necessary wiser.
I realized how much free time I had before I had a child that I wasted on activities, people and places that weren't right for my inner self nor was aligned with my values or brought me anywhere closer to my dreams. But hey, we all need everybody to have their time and their moment.
2. Love is the most important human experience. Love is what holds the world together.
Without love, we are lost. It is not something you give or get, instead - you nurture and grow. And I now love like I didn't know was possible.
3. Nobody is going to come and crown you. You have to do that yourself.
I rarely sleep longer than for a 3-4 hour at a stretch. I put a facial cream on my toothbrush another day. But then I look at this generous baby smile and repeat to myself that this is all worth it. We don't always get appreciated and thanked for what we do for our children, but we have to do it anyway. Because being a mother means to be attentive, responsible, available...
4. If I could bring another human into this world, nothing is impossible.
Every woman that has squeezed another human out of her body is supreme. Because there is nothing as painful as childbirth. It requires to gather all the powers that you think you don't own and use them all. Turns out, you can bring life regardless of the pain you have to go through. If you can do that, what else can you do?
5. It's what you learn about yourself along the way.
And my final discovery is that it's not about the mother that has love to give when she is rested, fulfilled and cheerful. It's about a mother that is exhausted, sleep deprived and isolated that manages to give it all. That's where I learned patience, strength, and resilience. I came to understand that no matter how tired I am, I still got to show up each time and to give my best. And that's what I choose over and over again.
P.S I got rewarded. Sofia sleeps through the night at three months. Thanks baby!