Love It Or Hate It, Timing Really Is Everything

Dating market can be very mysterious because...to say it gently -we're all screwed up royally somehow, sometime, someplace. 

We’re walking around with tons of emotional baggage unpacking it slowly in the front of the others.

I meet so many fantastic souls that are about to get their love dreams dashed and illusions shattered into pieces because not all relationships are destined to have long and prosperous lives. 

Want to know why timing is everything? Read on:

Themes are overlapping throughout the relationships, and I’ve seen that deep down, behind every cultural difference, value, birthplace, and current state, we deal with the same problem.

Timing is everything. 

It is one of the Gods that knows whether or not a relationship has a chance to last. In reality, you either thank, hate or blame the timing. 

It is challenging to build a long lasting relationship if mental places where you and your potential partner stand are far away from each other. Two people coming together have their own inner clock ticking faster or slower determinating what they think, how they feel and what they want the next couple years to look like.

 If one is mentally mature to commit to an everlasting relationship, he/she will behave accordingly. If he isn't, he will act like he isn’t. 

None of them are wrong.  

It’s just that you're heading East while he is leading South. In such instance, it's going to take some time to arrive at the same destination, if ever. 

It doesn't mean that relationship won't be able to form as in life there are always exceptions and second chances. However, we count those along one's fingers.

Maybe you got out of a serious relationship. If so, you aren’t in a state to commit straight away either. You feel bit sore, or even foreign in the land of dating. And that's Okay. 

You need time.

You may go on dates, but even then, you aren’t going to be the most live, energized, and vibrant yourself. 

The guy, on the other hand, perhaps been single for a year and is looking for a serious girlfriend. Timing is mismatched again.

It's logical to feel lost in your mind, heart and often streets after a breakup. 

You may not sign up for a trip to a frozen section picking up your favorite ice cream. Instead, you give up carbs and decide to move on.  

It's no secret, many of us turn to the most convenient medicine of the time - some trending dating app promising an exciting life and keeping our ego high.

As you get out there, they bombard you with questions that sound more like job interviews but with cocktails. Towards the end of the night, one would ask: “ So what is that you’re looking for?”

You keep blinking your eyes, readjusting core, taking another sip of Pinot Grigio while trying to win time to come up with a valid answer. 

“ What am I looking for?” 

You repeat the question and clear your throat. The deeper you look into their eyes, the less you know.

Here you are, with a perfect looking date that seems to put a firing gun straight to your forehead. You don't know what to say. You don't even know how to answer this question to yourself. 

You've got a perfect excuse: You're new to dating slowly dipping toes in fresh waters. 

Deep down you know you aren't ready for anything serious. This is an honest moment revealing the ultimate truth- it’s going to take some time until you're ready to date again. 

Maybe you can relate.

There are seasons in life that aren't about finding yet another relationship. There are seasons where we are given an opportunity to know ourselves better. Getting clear on what is that we want. 

The truth is, any person that could have tried to get close to you in a season that wasn't for love, had no real chance to do so because emotionally you were unavailable. 

And there is so many of us.

I've been on both sides and therefore with no second of doubt know that timing is one of the most crucial things in life. Timing decides whether or not your potential date can have the future. 

I don't believe in saying that you never meet right people at a wrong time. However, I know that if two people are meant to be together, they will meet again at the time when it will feel right. 

As I look at the parade of failed relationships, I realized that we should be honest to ourselves and others expressing our seasons of life and not being scared to be rejected, judged, or misunderstood. 

And as one season will end, there always be the next.

So in closing, I'd like to wish that you too meet someone who isn't plastering you like a band-aid over the fresh wounds but instead is ready to walk with you to the moon and back while holding on to this season of love.

xoxo

Kristina

Revealing Truth Why I choose To Date Foreign

With all due respect to my upbringing, I am bold enough to say that I prefer to eat, date and love foreign.

See, we all are curious to a certain extent. Some more. Some less.

Choosing people you call your friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends are conscious choices in life. They must deserve the title. You may share similar values, interests, and future goals.

But what if, we would choose friends and our dates by slightly different criteria.  

1. Dating a foreigner takes us out of established and limiting roles in our culture.

You can start dating someone fresh without stale cultural expectations, behaviors, or norms. You can experience all of the shades of intense and amazing. 

You get to select what works and what doesn't. Which rules to implement and which to discard. It gives an opportunity to shape the relationship that fits your needs. 

 You don't have to pop up babies at the age of 25 just because it's a cultural expectation. Or you don't have to delay the babies because it's a norm in your country to build a career that others envy. 

If everything goes well, your partner will leave some of their cultural expectations behind while you would be doing the same. Together you'll be able to build a solid ground while creating stimulating traditions that connect both on a much deeper level.

2. Dating a Foreigner showers you with lessons. 

Every dating experience is a classroom filled with tests and quizzed you either pass or fail. Every foreign dating relationship is a classroom teaching all the same except the subjects are taught in a language that isn't your own. It sure may be challenging at times, but so much more rewarding as long as you keep your mind open and heart available. 

Because dating a foreigner will get your palms a little sweaty. 
There will be plenty of awkward moments, misunderstandings, and even arguments. 

Same as there will be plenty of funny seasons, unforgettable times and laughs that will seriously flip-flop your stomach upside down. 

As it turns out, love can be served in a hundred and one variations. You don't have to stick with steamed broccoli and highly nutritious kale if that's not your jam. You can indeed have roasts with garnish. You're allowed to feel spice in the tongue and chills in the stomach if that lights you up. 

It may be a lot of times easier to date and even build a family with someone who was born in the same time zone as you, under the same angle of the moon, ate the same foods, watched the same cartoons and yet...to me this isn't better.

Because...

When two people come together from different backgrounds, they may develop something unique, one of a kind.

What's even better - you get to pick and choose what you want your relationship to become. 

3.  Your identity will change when dating a foreigner.

In the beginning, you may feel like a cat in a jacuzzi, but that's Okay, because dating foreign means stepping out of your comfort zone. 

Anything that involves leaving comfort behind equals to the growth. It trains you to expand your mind. When you expand your mind, it stretches, and it can never go back to where it was. 

When this happens, you become an entirely different person that is free to live whichever way works best. 

There will be most powerful breakthroughs and realizations. You'll get to know you and find out parts of your self you didn't know you ever had.  You'll face unexpected situations, and they all- will make you mature in unexpected ways.

4. You will have a growing appreciation for foreign culture.

You'll acquire contrasting mannerism, behaviors, and expressions.

At times you'll want to open your eyes wide open, at others, you will want to laugh or cry. You'll hear phrases that don't make sense. Then one day, you'll find out that these exact differences are the real reasons why you were attracted to them in the first place!

They may teach you warmth. You may teach stability. They may encourage you and introduce you to things you didn't know existed. 

5. There's no going back.

Actually, you'll try to go back. I couldn't though. 

People that are led by their curiosity on average live more adventurous and colorful life because they accustomed discovering what makes their hearts race faster. 

Every new day is an opportunity to discover something tasty, something special, something that will stir your heart.

People don't date a foreigner because their own kind isn't satisfying; they date a person holding a foreign passport because curiosity guides them to grass-growing destinations demanding to explore their hearts. They are willing to no matter what the difficulties, the risks, or the costs enter the field of the unknown and sip as much as they can out of it feeding their intrigued souls.

On some other planet, in some other lifetime, perhaps I'll stick to what I know. But in this one, I'm taking wild leaps. I choose to pursue whatever fascinates and brings me to life... and that it is the unknown. 

What's more, I have chosen to believe that a desire towards wanderlust was encoded into my DNA for reasons I will never know. 

But one thing I know for sure - your heart is sending you messages in every form it can - through a series of thoughts, sensations, dreams, signs, and attractions begging you to listen. 

The more tuned you become at listening, the more sensational and liberating becomes your existence.✅

With endless love,

XO

Kristina