5 secrets to a Successful First Date
We all have that one friend whose success rate with men quadruples ours. She's sharp yet sexy. Warm yet distant. And the worse thing, she isn't even trying too hard! Face-to-face conversations, phone calls, texting - come easy- breezy natural to her.
What's her secret?
It could be some cosmic energy or her natural talent pulling men towards her. Or she's just fortunate to meet men that happen to be magnetic to her. Either way, she does something many women forget when they go on that first date.
She's been that girl with a racing heart, sweaty hands, and tongue-tied feeling without having an idea what to say next or even how to respond to the simple questions a guy asks. She then stepped up her game if she was ever to land a guy she liked.
If you ever find yourself asking: "Will he call me again?" then one of the following tips could be at hand.
How do I know?
For the reason that you'll be able to show up as someone sharp yet sexy. Warm yet distant.
1. You have to be approachable and relatable.
I get it; you already take an excellent care of yourself - frizzy bubble baths, refreshing mint showers, painful wax sessions, expensive perfumes, etc.
Men are highly visual, and yet- you all dolled up will mean nothing if you two are incompatible to hold an impactful conversation together.
Because no matter how nicely you wrap yourself up, your efforts will measure up to zero without finding subjects to discuss, share opinions and have fun along the way.
I hear men continually complaining how boring the girl they went on a date was. I heard expressions like: " beautiful but dull. "
"If I could just hang her on the wall and look at her, that's fine. But I've got to live. "
And then there would be a phrase like this:
"I didn't feel proud being seen with her. Not to mention- introduce her to my friends. "
( very mean, right?)
I don't mean you have to start watching the news every morning or learn the names of the companies that just went IPO. You don't even need to learn the stock market's fluctuations. You only need to show that you have something to share which will want him to hear and see you more.
Preferably you've got a sense of humor too, and don't get upset at a joke he makes. I've seen women that take stuff so personally that instead of laughing or asking for clarification on the joke, they get upset. That is so unnecessary and serves as a significant turnoff to the guy.
2. Give smiles; they're free.
No one wants to have even a fifteen-minute coffee with a girl that left her smile at home, let alone sit through a three-meal dinner. World's already too serious. This is why a friendly face can do miracles when it comes to those first dates.
So let's put on our good mood tiaras and show up all happy and excited about life. This doesn't mean you have to pose and smile non-stop (as if you're so proud of your dentist's work who so spotlessly whitened your teeth. ) This just means you're generous enough to give smiles from time to time, so the guy doesn't mistake you for an emotion-free calculating machine.
3. Have a life.
This is so important, you guys! Men love to see women that are genuinely in love with their living. You've got talents, interests, hobbies and you're not going to give up your gym membership, your girls night out or call in sick so that you could spend more time with the guy.
If he sees you happy you automatically vibrate on a higher level than those other girls that caught his eye. You energy, aura, whatever you name it- becomes magnetic. This energy makes him want more of you and your time.
I am not saying you must be perfect. I don't believe in perfect.
All I am saying is to position yourself in a way that you will be Okay without him too. That you don't need him to make your life exciting. You already have that part figured out. You just want someone to share your fantastic life with!
Needless to say, men hate the pressure. Any signals of you being clingy, sticky, and bored with yourself will be perceived as red flags. I hate to say this, but any vibes where you're demanding too much of his attention and time- will be withdrawn from your account.
I'm not saying you must distract yourself from checking your phone and pretend you too busy so you won't text back the second he does. I'm simply stating that living in cosmopolitan cities give us the advantage to keep ourselves busy nearly 24/7.
Plus, his heart will pulsate so much faster when you do give him space to miss you. He will then see that you have no interest in taking his life away from him. Instead, he will focus on a value you could potentially add to his.
4. Men only value things they work for.
Men love a mental challenge. They love it even more if a woman they're attracted to gives them that trigger. So don't be shy to challenge him. Even if you hate playing games- just know this one is probably the only game you'll ever need to play if you play your cards right ( just this one time.)
In the early stage of dating, men will always try to push your boundaries and see just how far they can push. Meaning they'll ask for crazy, wild, sometimes even inappropriate things, and see how you respond to their requests.
They will ask for your '' sexy'' pictures. They'll ask you to join them for a night cup at their place( with an excuse of getting you an Uber home.) And here's the thing - clearly guy wants to have sex with you. However, if by this point you have "hooked" him with your personality, energy or aura, he will not die if you don't send him that picture. He will not give up on you if you don't go home with him first few times, I promise! If he vanishes right after that, that's the red flag to you. Meaning...he wasn't that much into you in a first place.
This is all to say, more time he is willing to invest in you, the grander chance of him being head over heels for you. Isn't this the goal after all?
5. Be authentic.
For a sake to be liked in first few dates we often play a bit pretending to be something we are not. ( By the way, men do the same.) It's understandable we want to leave good first impressions, appear cool so to speak.
I don't think there is a need to fake anything as it will filter through sooner or later.
If you take anything from this post then is this - be yourself. There's the only one of a kind you on this planet. Don't be afraid to be a bit raw, vulnerable and most importantly- original.
I may know next to nothing about you, but I am pretty sure that
" the right" man will wholeheartedly fall in love with that something special that only you have.